Stupid American Tourists Tricks...

Bonsoir ladies and gentlemen. JZZRGRL has returned from her FAVORITE place in the world and was once again reminded why it is the most amazing city in the world. It is absolutely beautiful. And I had an amazing trip, the weather was perfect, the food was awesome and the sites and shopping were even better. I couldn't have planned a better 40th BDAY trip than this. So you knew I had to come back and give you stories from my trip.

Generally speaking the fashion was pretty good, well the French women had good fashion, the stupid tourists that I saw did not. I mean, how many times do I need to say this, there is NEVER a time a that a fanny pack is OK. And really, a Disney Land T-Shirt and sneakers with socks? Ladies and gentlemen seriously, can we at least try not to look like a tourist? You know me, I had my cute flats and capris on every day. Most people did not think I was American...

I did buy a new pair of shoes, of course, I was in Paris...do you think I couldn't go to Christian Louboutin and buy shoes. The sales guy asked me out...FUNNY.

So a few funny stories from the trip:

1. OK, so I had my global phone (Thanks HT) and was using it to check email while I was there, I promptly received a text from the good folks at Verizon Wireless that my data roaming charges were approx. $200. SO I turned everything off, ONLY to realize that there was free wi-fi in the lobby of the hotel. YEAH, I realized that on the day I was leaving...good job.

2. I did fall up the stairs once on the Metro. I think my inherited clumsy genes are starting to show more as I get older. I did hit my hand, kind of hurt...

3. The best story was on the day I left, I met a guy from Wisconsin (what are the odds??) and he and I hung out on Sunday. So on Monday, we were both leaving and thought we would take the train together to the airport. Well, he was running late, we finally get to the station and it was a debacle to simply try to buy tickets for the RER, so we finally go through the turnstyle. My HUGE pink suitcase gets stuck in the doors and we have to have the attendant help us. Then we run to the train, Bucky (he went to Wisconsin for school) gets stuck in the doors trying to help me onto the train. We manage to unlodge him and get on the train, we can't figure out if we are on the right train. Someone tells us we are not on the right train...so we get off and CANNOT figure out how to find the right train...so we decided just to get a cab, then we CANNOT get out of the turnstyle, so we have to jump it with luggage and all. Then we come up to the street and cannot get a cab to save our lives. Finally Bucky flags one down. Long story, stupid Americans shouldn't try to take the train to Charles de Gaulle.

So I will continue to share stories and information from my trip, but I have to share my favorite stupid American story! So I am at the Musee d'orsay (BTW, when did Paris become Disneyland with the turnstyles and lines that are 30 minutes long for a museum??). There is a Manet exhibit, so I pay to get into the exhibit and I am standing in line. There is a museum employee working the line. And a woman, CLEARLY American, comes up to her and says this (IN YOUR BEST REDNECK TEXAS ACCENT)...why do we have to stand in line for this guy? Is he more famous than Monet or Renior? OH DEAR LORD, seriously? I wish I could have seen the face of the museum employee. A. DON'T assume this woman speaks English, you are in FRANCE, they speak FRENCH, B. Seriously, lady, if you don't know the difference between Manet and Monet, perhaps you shouldn't be at the Musee d'orsay...it was HILARIOUS!!

On the homefront, the situation with the AWESOME AWESOME guy continues to be, well, AWESOME. Fifth official date tomorrow night, he is so sweet and funny and a total smartie pants just like me. The crazy part is he gets me...which is not an easy (nor real desirable) task. HT, you are the best! Can't wait to continue to tell my readers about how amazing you are.

More to come, CHEERS AND CIAO (and maybe Au revoir) BELLAS! Or Bonsoir!