Ladies Seriously 2009 Highlights and Lowlights

Well, it's not the David Letterman Top 10...but it my attempt at my 2009 review. So HERE we go...

Lowlights:
- Being flirted with by Napa and finding out later the he had a long term girlfriend, via FB.
- Being broken up with on Valentine's Day.
- Finding out that I guy that I really liked (and thought he liked me) had a girl from another country living with him.
- Being stood up for a wedding.
- Discovering that the our economic recession meant I actually have to go back and get a corporate job.
- Being hit on by a married guy, whom I had considered a friend.
- Discovering I am more broke now than when I graduated from college...AH the joys of owning your our business.
- Making out with a guy at a party, coming home by myself, and having the guy contact me a week later to tell me he doesn't want a relationship.
- AND THE LAST, BUT THE VERY LOWEST!!! Watching a friend flirt with my date at a party, having my date contact her and then having the friend ask if it is OK if she contacts him.


Highlights:
- My fun girls weekend with my BF, Smiley, in Chicago.
- St. Mike's Block Party with Levy. I was at the drink ticket booth buying tickets, I asked the lady for $30 worth and she says "YOU KNOW THIS IS ONLY FOR ALCOHOL??" Hmm, what is she trying to say? Freddy Jones Band played and Oh yeah, we ended the night at Twin Anchors, YUM.
- The ENTIRE summer with the gorgeous redhead, Cubs game, U2 concert, White Sox game, PDP Concert at Sheffield Garden Walk, pub crawls, Ben Folds at Old St. Pats Block Party, Elton John/Billy Joel concert.
- Venetian Night and the 4th of July with the Varis...on a BOAT!
- Husker/Sooner Game in Nebraska with some of my favorite people.
- THREE times in Snobsdale, AZ with my family, relaxing by the pool drinking wine.
- Frontera Grill and Cibo Mato with the Coughs and Levy.
- Discovering that I have the most amazing friends and family in the world. And that without them, I would not have survived 2009.

Well, that's it, that's all...goodbye 2009, good riddance!! I am headed to Austin to visit my BF and her husband for NYE. We are going to hang and watch some serious college football. Ladies seriously, HAPPY NEW YEAR. Be safe, be merry, be classy and don't do anything I wouldn't do ;).

Until 2010...CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS.

I get by with a little help from my friends!

Great quote from the dearly departed John Lennon, they don't make song writers like that anymore. Merry Christmas, ladies! Lord only knows why I am up at 7 AM on Christmas Day! No I was not looking for what Santa left me under the tree, we did gifts last night (and there was no boyfriend wrapped up under the tree, sorry). My niece was very pleased with her first American Girl Doll, Chrissa and my nephew was very happy with his new iPOD. And while the weather outside in Nebraska is quite frightful (10 inches of snow), we had a lovely evening.

No, I think that I am still bothered by a situation that occurred this week with a friend (whom I have know since 1997), and I so I felt I had to share my thoughts. Previously, I told you briefly about a VERY cute guy I had met at a bar, and then I invited him to a party (at the redheads). There was some kissing with him and but I didn't hear from again and therefore, he is what? DEAD TO ME. However, I failed to tell you the story about the friend that went to the party with me. I had invited her to the party she is going through a tough divorce and I thought she needed some fun time. But she actually proceeded to flirt, talk to and take pictures with said cute guy that I had invited to the party all night long. To the point that me and several of my friends at the party were uncomfortable with the situation. I didn't say anything to her about it because she is going through a tough divorce and hey, it's just a guy that I met at a bar.

Well, this friend emailed me this week to tell me that cute guy had contacted her and was it OK if she responded (so she obviously gave him her phone number because let's face it a guy isn't ambitious enough to try and find her information). REALLY? Does a friend even have to ask the question? Shouldn't she be so disgusted with his lack of tack that she would tell him to pound sand? And shouldn't she think that if I wasn't interested in him (not anymore) that it is not OK? Needless to say, I shared my thoughts with my "friend" on her behavior and let her know that she was welcome to make whatever decision that she thinks is best with him. And the most upsetting thing about the whole situation is not that the guy picked my friend over me (WHO CARES, there are more where he came from), it is that a FRIEND treated me that way. Especially someone that I have known for a long time.

So it got me to thinking...why do we treat other women worse than we do men? Why are we willing to screw our friends over for a guy? And probably some guy that is not even in it for the long haul? In times of trouble, are those men around to pick up the pieces, HELL TO THE NO (well, my good guy friends would be)! And why is it OK to insult other women in front of that woman and a group of friends? Suggest that she won't have kids, ever get married or has bad fashion, is fat or has bad hair? Ladies seriously, we are constantly fighting the insults and things that men say to us...why should we have to fight and defend ourselves with women and especially those that we consider our friends?

And hey sometimes I am not the best friend in the world, I may be bad about calling or staying in contact with all of my friends (but they always a Christmas Card :)) But I would NEVER insult a friend or think it was OK to talk and flirt with a friends' date at a party. Ladies seriously, BE a LADY and don't insult or bad mouth another woman in a group. It makes you look bad and it is simply not classy. Be a good friend and treat your friends with care and class.

And so at Christmas time, be thankful for those wonderful friends out there, both women and men friends. To mine, thank you! I whole heart you all. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Don't Be Salty....BE SWEET!

Oh yes, it is that time, where everyone you meet is gruff, stressed out and ready to rip your head off! Trust me, I just went to Best Buy today and for the people there that are just now doing their holiday shopping, everything was not sunshine and rainbows today. People still have a lot to do and not enough time to do it, so the general public would rather punch you in the face rather than smile at you.

Case in point, Saturday AM, I am getting home from getting my lovely Venti Skim Latte from Starbucks (which BTW cost me $54 ($4 for the coffee) due to the parking ticket I got in front of the Dominick's, Merry EFFING Christmas from the City of Chicago. I MEAN REALLY, $50 for an expired meter, OR in my case, no pay at the meter, since I was there for 7 minutes!) So I am a little ticked off anyway, I go to pull into my spot behind my condo and a neighbor is sitting in her Explorer halfway pulled into her spot, just sitting there. So I wait a minute, then give her a little beep-beep and open my car door (cuz I can't pull into my spot). Now, keep in mind it has snowed a BIT, a little slush in the lot. I say "Can you pull forward just a little so I can get my car into my spot?" In a nice friendly, Christmasy tone. "NO, I CAN'T PULL FORWARD, I AM WAITING FOR MY HUSBAND TO PARK THE CAR!!!!" In a really nasty, bitchy tone. I say "OH....OK..." I then proceed to have to wait until her husband comes out about 3-5 minutes later and she hops out and her husband turns the wheel and pulls forward. Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, it was not a long time to way. But REALLY!!! You live in Chicago and you can't park your vehicle in your spot. Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula (extra points if you can name the movie)! And then really, did she have to be a total BII-ATCH about her answer? The ladies seriously answer would have "You know what, I am so sorry, but I am little uneasy about pulling the car in, my husband is coming out shortly to pull it in for me." Would that have been SOOO hard?

Anywhoo, here is my point, everyone is so stressed and simply a grouchy pants right now, so ladies seriously, take the higher road, don't be salty...be sweet. Be the classy ladies that you are.
1. Thank those servers at restaurants and people working at retail stores (who are probably taking the brunt of the rude customers).
2. Wish people Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays when you can.
3. Hold the door open for people coming in and out, especially if they have a stroller or packages.
4. Offer your seat on the bus or train to someone.
5. Thank people verbally for gifts (and then be sure to follow up with a written note).

And if you have the means, pay it forward! Donate your time or your money...or your miles. I heard a story the other day of a friend who was talking to another friend that was not coming home for Christmas and had just broken up with a boyfriend. The one friend used some her miles to get the other friend a plane ticket to come home for two weeks. Isn't that nice?

Ladies and gentlemen! Happy Hanukkah (I know it is over, but some of my Jewish friends wait and celebrate it on Christmas anyway), Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year, Happy Chinese New Year! I think I got them all (probably missed Muslim, Hinduism and Buddhism). Have a happy, healthy, safe holiday. I am off to Nebraska tomorrow with the fabulous, 15 year old, diabetic princess cat in the seat next me. I should be back before the end of the year. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Dead to me!

Well, ladies, as we surge towards the end of another year, I have decided it is time to clean out my closet. And NO, I am not talking about all of my FAB shoes, because HEY, why would I get rid of those, they never did anything to me, except make my feet hurt. And my mantra is fashion before function anyway, so it's not their fault. And they sleep in their cute little sleeping bags in my closet, not causing any problems. And NO, not my handbags, I LOVE THEM. And NO, I am not talking about my clothes either.

What does Fergie say...A Prada dress has never broke my heart before...So yes, I am talking about cleaning out the closet of those failed, maybe never really got off the ground relationships. Ladies seriously, you know the ones, those guys that you still keep in your phone or in the back of your mind as possibility for the future. Well, I have FOUR of them and YEP, you guessed it, DEAD TO ME!

One of them was previous relationship that ended shortly after it started. And, I always thought MAYBE we might go back, but after some recent events NOPE, DEAD TO ME! Another one is my Mr. Big and if you have read that blog post previously, you know the story...DEAD TO ME! Another one kind of started, but it was a long distance one. And SIGH, I still whole heart him, but I have to get past it, so yep DEAD TO ME! Lastly, and most recently, a very cute guy that doesn't bother to respond to text messages. And sure, my friends are sweet and try to tell me, maybe he didn't get the text...YEAH and maybe he is stuck under something heavy and can't get out. Bless you my dear friends, but let's be real, he is just being rude. I mean really, at least respond and lie to me, tell me you are busy, blah, blah, blah....DEAD TO ME!

The end of the year is new year's resolution time and a time to think about a new year and new beginnings. So ladies seriously, I know that there are many of you out there in a similar situation as mine. Stop hanging on to those toxic or phantom relationships. By doing that, you might open yourself up to meeting someone fabulous. If you don't, that is OK too, and just have fun with your friends, guys and girls. So repeat after me...DEAD TO ME! And yes, it might be a bit dramatic, but if he is dead, you won't "accidentally" text or call him in a drunken or lonely state. And if he is dead, he can't talk or text you!

And this is a good life lesson for all relationships. Ladies seriously, life is too short to hang on to toxic relationships, whether they are romantic or platonic. Let's all make a new year's resolution to rid ourselves of those relationships that suck the energy out of life. Choose people that give as much energy as you receive from them. Those are the solid, lasting ones. Thanks to my girls, Smiles and the redhead for that. LOVE YOU!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

If it smells like funk...

Thanks to one of my favorite bands, the Black Eyed Peas for lending me the title to the blog post today. And special thanks to one of my girlfriends for providing the blog subject today. Ok ladies seriously, how many times have you seen another lady on the street and her zipper is down or her skirt is tucked into her hose? Did you stop her to help her? If not, why not?

I remember this one time in band camp...no, just kidding. One time I was on a business trip in a skirt carrying my briefcase over my shoulder. My skirt was caught on my briefcase and I was literally flashing my bootie to all of the men behind me. And of course, you know the guys weren't saying anything. So this lovely woman came running up to me to tell me about the problem. I was embarrassed but glad I didn't flash the men behind ALL THE WAY down the escalator. So thank you to that lovely woman in Tampa, FL in 1994.

So here is my question, ladies seriously, why do we let other women walk around with these problems:
1. Something stuck her front teeth
2. Lipstick on her teeth
3. Zipper down or button undone (careful here..she might want it that way)
4. TP stuck to her shoe
Wouldn't you want to know? So if you see someone with one of these problems, be classy and help a sista out! She might be embarrassed, but she will be grateful! Trust me.

And so that leads to me the another subject...what do you do if your friend, sister, mom or colleague is stinky? And you know what I am saying, you can smell her and it is not a lovely Bath and Body Works scent. Sometimes it is hard to know if you personally smell and if you do, wouldn't you want to know? So, please help your sisters out, if they smell, tell them the problem and maybe suggest a different deodorant or laundry detergent. Sometimes it is as simple as changing on of those. And listen, I have had to have this conversation with a customer in one of my classes. It is hard.

And ok, yes, if it is body odor, maybe it is not as hard to discuss with someone. BUT WHAT IF, she has that feminine odor problem? You all know what I am talking about. What if your friend has a stinky VA-Jay-Jay? Do you say something? YES, PLEASE tell the poor woman, maybe she doesn't know. And if she does, maybe she doesn't know what to do about it. There are medical issues that cause this, maybe she needs to see a doctor. I mean, we are all women, why is it such a VOODOO subject to talk about that area? As hard as it might be, don't you think she should know? Again, help a sista out!!

So I guess once again, the simple rule applies...do undo others and you would have done to you. If you have lipstick on your teeth or have body odor, don't you want someone to tell you? So please pay it forward to our other classy ladies out there. Trust me it is much classier to say something than to ignore and let some poor woman be known as STINKY SALLY at work.

This has been a public service announcement from JZZRGRL. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Is it too early to be thinking about New Year's Resolutions?

Good afternoon ladies! It is only 18 days until Christmas and then NYE is a week after that. So, well, HECK, my Christmas shopping is done (don't hate me, but finished on 11/30 and did it ALL online this year, while drinking wine, that is the right way to shop). I have already had a great time at a great holiday party, thanks to the redhead and some good friends. And yes, there was some very nice making out at the party and later at home...Hee, Hee, yep by me with a very cute guy. I am reserving comments and judgment on him for the future. So stay tuned.

I am thinking it is time to make some New Year's resolutions. Why is it that we always do our New Year's resolutions and then end up giving up 2 months into the year? And then we just recycle them each year? I mean, I have had the same ones each year, I would love to lose 10 pounds, use my credit cards less, save more money and find a date. HMMMM, it has been like 5 years and they are still the same....

So here are a few hints. First of all, to those ladies (and gentlemen) that make a New Year's resolution to lose weight and take up all of the parking spaces, machines at the gym, or spaces in class AND then drop out after 2 months, please, let me save you the time and the money, don't come! I know as a fitness business owner, this does not make a lot of sense for me to say. But here is the deal, if you are really serious about losing weight or getting in shape, starting at a gym or class and then quitting after 2 months is NOT helping your cause. Fitness is a LIFESTYLE, you can't just expect to lose 20 pounds and keep it off in 2 months time. So here is my advice, if you are serious about losing weight, getting fit, you need to put more than 2 months time in at the gym. Plus, you will need to adjust your eating as well. Remember, only one silver bullet-Eat less, exercise more! On a side note, I keep waiting for them to find a procedure that will use a vacuum to suck some of the cellulite from my bootie to my chest. Wouldn't that be nice, redistribute without actual surgery. :)

Ok, what is the second most popular New Year's Resolution, spend less money or save more money as well. OH LORDY, this is a hard one. Trust me, I have had to try to do more with less for the last two years and I am REALLY bad at it. It takes some discipline. The best way I found to actually save money is to have it diverted from your paycheck to a savings account or automatically deposit a set amount to savings each month. Then earmark that savings account for something that you are working towards, a new house, a new car, NEW SHOES, etc. If you are disciplined enough to have a rainy day fund, more power to you. I have trouble with that one. As I said on the last resolution, it really is a lifestyle change and you have to approach it that way.

After that, I am not sure what comes next. For me, it is finding a date and I have never been very successful at that one. So if you have any suggestions for me, I would love to hear them because sadly each year I get older and older, more set in my ways. And I find that I am less likely to find someone that wants to put up with me and probably more accurately it is less likely that I will find someone that I actually would live with! My stance has always been that he might have to get his own place.

So ladies seriously, what ever your New Year's resolution is, if you really want to make a change, then you must make a commitment to change (wow, does this sound like a 12 Step Program?). Weight loss, saving money...these are not things that you can do for a few months and then just have it be fixed. These are lifestyle changes. And when we make those commitments and then fail, we feel even worse. So try not to set yourself up for failure. Enjoy the holidays, be safe, have fun and most of all BE CLASSY!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

It's Cyber Monday...let the SHOPPING commence!!

Hello ladies. Yes, it's true I am back from the desert. Wow, what a great place to spend Thanksgiving. We ate our dinner by the pool, drank lots of great wine and had a great time. So, it is time to start thinking about the holidays. And YES, Virginia...I do put up a REAL tree. My niece and nephew are so accustomed to the artificial kind, they did not understand what it means to have a real tree (my niece asked if it talked, isn't that about the cutest thing ever?). I go to the local lot, have them strap it to the top of the Silver Ultimate Driving Machine and drag it up my back stairs. And yes, I have needles all over the house, the cat sleeps under the tree and then drinks the water out of it. REALLY GOOD for a diabetic cat to drink water with sap in it.

Enough of my silliness...now that Thanksgiving is over, we should officially talk about shopping and the holidays. As most of you know, I am a bit of a shopaholic, although now that I have been BROKE for two years, I don't get on eBay as much, but here are some ladies seriously tips for shopping and the holidays. Some are practical, some are funny and some lend themselves to the whole purpose of my blog...how to be classy. SO, HERE WE GO!!!

1. MAKE A BUDGET for gifts and STICK TO IT. I personally use a spreadsheet as it helps me narrow down what to buy and where to buy. And I can see how far over or under budget I am.

2. If you send out Christmas/Holiday Cards, please be sure to personally sign them. Unless you are a business, it is a bit impersonal to have your name imprinted on them. And if you have a very daunting card list, maybe it is time to pare the list down. Does that friend that you NEVER speak to or hear from really need a card? Also, I do write a holiday letter but I don't send it to family and close friends, they should know everything that is in the letter.

3. Don't assume that everyone celebrates CHRISTMAS. That is why I like to call December into early January...the HOLIDAYS. CHRISTmas is exclusive to CHRISTians. With Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and Chinese New Year, you need to respect how all people celebrate their holiday. OH, on a side note, Kwanzaa and Christmas are not mutually exclusive, many African American families celebrate both.

4. For those people that are important to you in life, put some thought into the gift that you buy for him/her. No matter what you can afford, buy something that will mean something to the person you are giving it to. I like to buy something that I know the person wouldn't buy for her/himself. Gift cards are nice, but if you are really close with someone, it might be a bit impersonal. There are exceptions...last year I got my sister a GC to Victoria's Secret because I knew she needed bras. Remember, the post about Up and Out Ladies...my sister needed a little assistance there.

5. OK, office parties...ladies seriously, be careful here. Dress appropriately, nothing too low cut or too short, remember you work with these people. Also, watch how much alcohol you drink! You know how those things go, free alcohol = TROUBLE.

6. Make sure to take care of yourself during the holidays. This is a stressful time of year! Don't get so caught up in everything that you don't get a proper diet or sleep. Remember, we are into the FOOD holidays, which means extra pounds!

7. Don't worry about being SUPER MOM or SUPER WOMAN! Really, is the world going to come to an end if Sallie Sue doesn't have homemade cookies to take to school. The local baker at the grocery store makes great cookies. There is so much pressure on us to get to parties, cook, shop, do cards, and plus keep up on everyday stuff that we do throughout the year, it could drive a girl crazy! Don't try to take on too much.

8. Remember the reason for the holidays...to celebrate and enjoy your family and friends. Count your blessings for what you have because there are so many people out there without homes or food. And that reminds me, if you have time, volunteer to those people in need, give food or clothing to a shelter, help cook at a meal, and keep hoping that things get better for all.

I am heading home tonight to continue to take advantage of Cyber Monday and YES, not so soccer mom (you know who you are), it is a real thing. Enjoy the upcoming weeks. Ladies seriously, be safe, be merry and enjoy!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Sell crazy someplace else...we are all stocked up here!

AH, one of my wonderful sorority sisters reminded me of this quote from the movie As Good As It Gets and it still makes me laugh out loud. Ok, so I am going to talk about a subject that might tick some of you off, but hey, I only exist in cyberspace, so the worst you can do is make bad comments to me ;)!

So I have been thinking a lot about families, friends, ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands, our background and experiences lately...must have been that high school reunion in July. And we are all who we are because of our life experiences, they say that the school of hard knocks is sometimes just as educational as college (just ask my dad). So, I grew up in suburbia land in middle America...what do my friends, the Counting Crows, say..Omaha, somewhere in middle America. And sure, we would all like to think that we were raised in the house with the white picket fence and June Cleaver at home baking pies. But I wasn't, and I am guessing that neither were most of you.

So here it is, no one had a perfect upbringing, we have all had tough times, people treated us bad, your parents were hard on you or you didn't get along with your brother/sister, blah, blah, blah. It sucks, but that's life. Hey, my mom yelled at me a lot for the first 7-8 years of my life..And now, yep, I am people pleaser because of it, I know it and so does my mom. AND? SO WHAT? I still think my mom is the best ever! And as one of my good friends likes to say, hey I ain't perfect, but I am here!

Ladies, seriously, here is my message to you, take care of your own issues! None of your friends or family wants to listen to you boo-whoo regularly about your life baggage. And no, I am not saying that your friends and family shouldn't to help you out in times of trouble (death, mental health issues, financial problems), but...for something that happened 20 years ago...might be time to let some of it go. If you have issues to deal with (and talking to a close friend or family member doesn't help), SEEK counseling. There is NO shame in that game.

Generally speaking, our parents do the the best they can, no one gave them a guidebook and sometimes they did great and sometimes not so much. And believe me, even those families that "seem" perfect aren't, everyone has some type of issue with their family. And if you are now a parent or are going to be...you understand or trust me, it will hit you like a 2 x 4 real soon (this is coming from someone whose only parenting skills have been practiced on a 15 year old, lazy, diabetic cat, who is QUITE mouthy and really only tolerates me because I feed her).

Now, I know I am being a bit harsh (you might call it the ugly truth) and there are many circumstances in life that require more than some counseling or owning up to your baggage. In fact, there are COUNTLESS people in this world that have had a substantially more difficult childhood than me or you (foster parents, drugs, abuse, physical disabilities, prolonged illness, homelessness, etc) and they are SUBSTANTIALLY better people than me. Why? Because they did not let their shortcomings and experiences (not matter how bad) steer them away from a fulfilling, successful life.

So ladies, please remember, that you will be remembered for the things that you did in your life, the people that you helped, the ones that you loved (and who loved you). Notice, I did not say, what you overcame...like when your dad was mean to you when you were 7.

So, don't worry, be happy and live the life that you want. And as we approach Thanksgiving, be thankful for your life. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

It is NOT OK!

So, let me tell you about my dating life for the past year or so...pretty much the Sahara desert of dating! I am personally not really good at the online dating thing and my only two activities are Jazzercise and Gamma Phi Beta...READ ALL WOMEN ALL THE TIME, except for the men that only like men. And of course, the one guy that I really did like...ending up dating someone from a foreign country, SIGH! Oh, and there was another one that I actually liked, the Hot Cheater (OH BOY IS HE HOT), as the redhead and I like to call him, WAS living with his finace. He did txt me last week to tell me that they had broken up. And I have to give the man credit for waiting until they broke up to contact me again. Hopefully, more to come on that one...

ANYWAY, the crowning blow was a few weeks ago! There is a man that I had considered a friend (who has been married for many years) and we have known each other for around 4 years. He decided that our relationship was possibly more than friends (OH YEAH and he communicated via TXT, classy). He lives in another state and we used to work together, so we had dinner in October. Apparently, he felt that something more was going on. I suspected that he thought that was the case, but not there for me. And I haven't really spoken (or TXT with him since then)

In 2008, I had re-connected with a man with whom I had worked with previously (we re-connected at holiday reunion party). He has also been married for many years with teenage children. He owns his own business and so do I, so we started to have lunch every 3-4 months to discuss business ideas. He had some good ideas and it was nice to connect. Well around Christmas time, he wanted to take me to dinner on a Friday night...alarm bells started to go off, but I agreed to dinner. YEP, you guessed it, he wanted to date me as well. He could be my "stand in" boyfriend. I asked him never to call me again.

So here's my statement tonight, gentlemen seriously, if you are married and are good friends with a single woman, it is NOT OK to hit on her. If you are hitting on other women besides your wife, then either your marriage is not right or you are an A-HOLE. If it is the first one, then fix your siutation, if it is the second one, there is no help for you. What makes it worse for me is that these guys were men I considered friends. Seriously, it is insulting to me and highly disrespectful.

Ladies seriously, I hope you don't come across the same scenario and if you do, please walk away. The worse thing you can do for YOU (and for his wife) is to get involved with a married guy. I know that there are those of you out there that do get involved or do believe that he will leave his wife for you. But really, you are all way too fabulous to be in 2nd place! AND if he does leave his wife and marry you, what is he going to do when the next one comes along...?

Ladies, I am headed to LOVELY Scottsdale, AZ for 10 days for Thanksgiving. As you may or may not know, that area is considered to be SNOBSDALE...so if I get any good stories for you, I will be sure and report from the desert. I ALWAYS have my laptop.

Until then, cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Ladies! Keep it classy...

So, as you all know, this past weekend was Halloween. Now, me personally, not much of a dresser upper for Halloween, would rather just wear my cute BCBG top, jeans and my Manolos, but the feisty redhead wouldn't go out with me if I wasn't in costume both nights. So Friday night was a witch costume and Saturday night was Holly Golightly (PS, if you don't know who Holly is, you may lose your qualification to the read the LADIES SERIOUSLY blog, she is only like the epitome of class). However, I decided that in this day and age, Holly would not think smoking is classy, so I did not use the cigarette holder thingy (plus I didn't have one and wasn't going to try to find one).

On Saturday night, three of us girls went out (plus the Michigan grad's husband, who was not in costume, but quite a lucky man with three hot women). BTW, 7 hours, 6 bars and no one threw up or did anything stoopid. We had a ton of fun and kept it classy all night long...well, that is until I couldn't find a cab at 3 AM on Halsted! ANYWHOO.

The redhead was Little Red Riding Hood and the cute Michigan grad was Snow White. Classy cute outfits...no one had short skirt, an overabundance of cleavage or had a costume that started with the word NAUGHTY. Snow White actually won a costume contest! We were very proud. PS the guy dressed as a tampon at the bar (CLASSY) was NOT happy that Snow White won, he wanted the cash prize.

So here is my question...when did Halloween become the time when women think it is OK to dress naughty? I mean, short skirts, cleavage, fishnets, high heels (ALL TOGETHER IN ONE OUTFIT)...and men simply droll. I just don't understand! There are a ton of costume ideas out there that can be sexy without looking nasty. I considered being Lara Croft and I wasn't going to wear super short shorts (you wouldn't want to see my legs like that). On Friday night, we went to a party and there was a whole group of people dressed as the Project Runway judges, Tim Guinn, Heidi, Nina Garcia and Michael Kors. They all looked cute!

I saw a ton of cute costumes, Mrs. Mia Wallace (Pulp Fiction), Scooby-Doo, Bride of Frankenstein, Elle Woods (Legally Blonde), Frida Kahlo, etc, etc....none of which were inappropriate or disguisting.

So ladies seriously, have fun, dress up for Halloween but keep it classy! Next year, let's reduce the number of naughty nurses and witches out there. Also, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT dress up to mock a minority group or any group where your costume would offend...that is the ultimate of classlessness.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

If you take advantage of everything America has to offer, there’s nothing you can’t accomplish.

A quote from the first female vice president candidate in the US (representing a major political party), Geraldine Ferraro. So over the weekend, I had an opportunity to travel to Canada, our friendly neighbors to the north. I was visiting our first Canadian Gamma Phi Beta chapter in Toronto, the one that made as us an INTERNATIONAL sorority. First, let me say that Toronto is a very cool city, I have been there before but was reminded that it is a great city for food and culture. Well, as you can imagine, I did stop by a pub while I was there, I know QUITE out of character for me, but I figured what the heck...when in Canada....SIDE STORY, I stayed at this cute little bed and breakfast and between my building, the building where they had the hotel registration and the building next to it, there were FOUR pubs! My sorority sister and I walked up and said we want to go to the hotel bar, the bouncer guy says...LADY there are bars everywhere! NUFF SAID.

Well, we were sitting at the bar, enjoying an adult beverage, my sorority sister was enjoying a PINT as the natives call it and we were chatting with a Canadian, an Irishman and the bartender (no, this isn't the start to a joke). They were asking what we thought of Toronto. And I said, Toronto is very cool, I didn't realize how European the city feels. In the US, you don't really get that feeling. And the bartender said NO, but cities in the states are very unique, you aren't going to find them anywhere else. You can find cities like Toronto everywhere. I don't know if he was just being nice, he was waiting for his tip, but it really did make me stop and think.

American cities are UNIQUE? Well, he is right. Let's just name a few Chicago, New York City, Los Angeles, Houston and Las Vegas. Can you think of ANY OTHER country in the world that has five cities that are as unique as these? Now, you KNOW that I am obsessed with France and England and their history, but I have to say, hearing someone say this about our country made me pretty proud.

I did watch the John Adams mini-series on HBO two years ago and it was fascinating to see how our country was founded and the forward thinking minds that shaped our country and we are truly unique. And yes, I agree that our country has had some bad times that many of us would rather forget, our treatment of American Indians, African Americans and Japanese Americans comes to mind immediately. However, there is NOT a country in this world that does not have parts of their history that they would like to forget (well I don't know, I guess the NEUTRAL Swiss probably don't have much). But, I can't imagine that there are many Germans of today that are proud of the Holocaust.

Additionally, there are many things in American politics today that I don't agree with, like our current wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I have my own opinions about Republicans and Democrats...but guess what? I live in the USA, so I am allowed to have those opinions. So I must say after hearing what that bartender said, I did decide that the states are a pretty good place to live and I can't imagine going somewhere else (unless Jason Statham married me and moved me to Paris, I might be able to handle that).

So, ladies seriously, let me wave my freaky American pride flag for a moment. Despite all of our flaws, we are the land of the free and the home of the brave, let's try to be proud, intelligent and responsible Americans. And for a brief moment be thankful to live here, don't bad-mouth America, work to make it better!

JZRRGRL...OFF soap box again. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Humanity is acquiring all the right technology for all the wrong reasons.

Ok, here's my question...with all of the technology and science in the world, I mean, we can make cars that parallel park themselves for crying out loud (for all of those parking impaired in the suburbs of Chicago, YA, I am talking to you), we can genetically engineer foods so that corn can be more digestible and we can PAUSE live TV! So here is one of my questions, why can't we make foods that are good for you taste like foods that are bad for you? I mean seriously, why can't brocoli taste like french fries? What can't spinach taste like chocolate chip cookies? And why can't plain baked chicken (read: dry) taste like fried chicken (yes, just like the Colonel makes). I mean, we want everyone to eat healthy, right? Well, that is the way! And for that matter, why can't the pasta and potatoes that I LOVE actually sculpt my abdominals instead of giving me that little muffin top that I work SO hard to get rid of?

AND the answer is: probably because all of the chemicals would cause cancer, right?

Ladies seriously, all joking aside...with all the science and medical breakthroughs in the world, WHY OH WHY, can't we find a cure for cancer? Please indulge me for a bit, as I have been facing a horrible situation this past week with my dear sister and I want to share the story. My sister has a 25 year old friend who is an amazing young woman and put herself through undergrad and graduate school at Kansas (but we won't hold that against her). She chose to dedicate her life to help others less fortunate than herself, namely, our homeless. She has stage 4 ovarian cancer and her prognosis is not positive. Thank goodness she has amazing friends and a wonderful boyfriend of nine years. There is no words to describe how unfair life is in this situation.

So I am absolutely convinced that someday, we are going to laugh and be appalled about how we treat cancer these days, I mean, slash it and burn it right? Well, long long ago, doctors used to use leeches and bleed people to cure diseases. We look at that now and think that is crazy, well I truly believe (and hope that it happens sooner rather than later) that we will think chemo and radiation are crazy. Some very smart person is going to create a drug or injection to cure cancer.

While I know that this blog post is a bit of a departure from my regular posts, ladies seriously, as I sit here tearing up thinking of my sister's dear friend, if you have time or money to give and you are trying to find a cause, give it to finding a cure! And all the smart people in America! LISTEN TO ME...let's use all of that brain power we are using to create cars that park themselves and find a cure.

To my sister's dear friend...god bless and I am praying for a miracle (they do happen) and for all of the rest of you out there fighting or affected by cancer, my heart goes out to you! Let's find a cure!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

ALL the single ladies! Put your hands up!

Oh yes, the time is upon us again, ladies and gentlemen, Sweetest Day is just around the corner, it falls on October 17th this year. OH MAN, I do not like how this holiday has been morphed into a Valentine's Day in the fall. WARNING: the following comments are from a jaded, single woman. Some comments may not be appropriate for the hopeless romantics and happily coupled, married and in LOVE people out there.

OK, SO Sweetest Day...it is primarily celebrated in the Midwest, because apparently, the men here need to be reminded twice a year to buy their girlfriends or wives, flowers, cards, dinner, etc. Midwest men, you should be insulted that you have to be reminded twice. And I guess that the East coast and West coast men don't need the second reminder..HMMM. Anyway, do you know the actual origin of this holiday? Here is what my Google research found: The holiday is said to have begun in the city of Cleveland, Ohio in 1922. Candy store employee Herbert Birch Kingston put together a group of citizens to provide small gifts to homeless people, orphans, and others who had fallen on hard times.

OK, GREAT IDEA! Hey Hallmark, why did we have to make it a second Valentine's Day? And yes, I know, I said like a bitter female, I just don't understand why we constantly have to be focused on couples, love and marriage in this country. Don't get me wrong, I completely respect the happily married couples out there, and if you can find someone that you can stand to be around ALL THE TIME and they can stand you...go for it. Heck, my parents are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary on Saturday, October 17th, ironically.

And if you are single, everyone assumes that you are looking for someone to marry. "Don't worry, you'll find someone", blah, blah, blah. Hey, just what, I may not be looking for someone to marry, do I want to find someone to date and have a long term relationship with? SURE, but marry, EH, I could take it or leave it. Several decades ago, women had to get married as the men were the breadwinners, but that is not the case anymore. Ninety two million people in the US (42% of the total population) are single, but it seems that everything is focused on couples. Perhaps 42% of the activities, events and holidays should be focused on single people.

You know I joke all the time with my friends about the fact that if I did actually get married (again), my husband might have to keep his own place, because after being single for almost 9 years, I am not sure I could live with someone again. So ladies seriously, if you are happy being single, don't get so focused on getting married and don't let your friends and family convince you into believing that is the only way to go.

Single, married, looking, whatever is, ladies seriously, be happy with you and your relationship status! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

No shame in the game...

So every once in a while as I am looking in the mirror, I THINK I see one of those pesky grey hairs on my head (my colorist assures me that there are none, not sure I believe it). Sometimes I think it is an illusion because I couldn't possibly be old enough to have grey hair...I mean seriously! So I started thinking that we should probably discuss hair color...and as far as I am concerned, no self respecting female of today would wear their natural hair color, UNLESS, you are truly genetically blessed with a beautiful hair color...and even then I am a little skeptical.

Now, I have been coloring my hair in some form for at least 15 years (and NO not out of the box, because god knows I would end up with blue hair). I think I started with highlights and then really got impatient with all those little squares of foil, so I decided single process was easier, quicker and honestly cheaper. Then I went to a red for many years and now I am at a very dark brown, almost black. SO, I know you are saying WHO CARES about JZZRGRL's hair color, right? Well, a few things to remember ladies...FIRST OF ALL, there is NO shame in the game of coloring your hair, especially when you want to cover those grey hairs (my mom has been coloring hers since her 30s and she is in her 60s now). Plus it is fun to try different hair colors. And guess what, it is just hair and that color will fade out if you don't like it. Much easier to fix that a really short haircut.

SECOND OF ALL, pick a shade that is no more than 5-6 shades different than your natural to start. I saw a very cute college woman this past weekend, who CLEARLY had very dark natural hair and she had hers dyed PLATINUM blonde. Her eyebrows did not match and it was really harsh. Not many people can pull that off (Gwen Stefanic and Marilyn Monroe are the only ones that come to mind) If your eyebrows don't match, consider have them dyed as well. After that if you feel your features and skin tone can handle something more drastic, go for it.

THIRD, if you make a drastic change, make sure your personality and style can pull it off. One of my besties, the redhead as you know her, colors hers red and dark brown. And I would not recommend it for many people, but her personality and style completely matches it. Which is part of the reason why I call her the fiesty redhead.

FOURTH, if you are trying two different colors, be careful about how drastically different the colors are. NOW, this is my opinion, but females who pair black and very blonde, look a bit like a zebra. Enhancing your natural color is the best way to make a statement.

LASTLY, if you are trying a new color or trying hair color for the first time, do yourself AND your hair a favor, go to a salon and have a professional do it. I have seen too many BAD boxed hair color jobs to allow you to do that to yourself.

So ladies seriously, it is fall in most parts of the country, maybe for something new, try a new hair color, go darker, go lighter! Or for those of you that have never tried a new color (GASP!), try it, you might like it. People will notice and react. Trust me, when I dyed my hair darker and cut my bangs, I got more dates! You never know!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Have we created social morons?

Ok, so I was just chatting with a girlfriend and she was telling me stories about a guy that she "sort of" likes....they have hung out a few times, know each other, have had flirty text messages, etc. And he keeps "kind of" asking her to do stuff, but is like last minute or it is something like...hey, I am going to the bar to hang with my friends, do you want to come with? WHAT? Now, this is a good looking guy who has an important job and I am sure has to speak to people everyday, how come he can't say, hey, I would like to hang out, do you want to get dinner and then hang with my friends?? Have men forgotten how to ask women out? Are we such a casual society that men and women don't do the dinner and a movie anymore? AM I REALLY OLD and don't get it? Probably....

I have been told that men and women in college don't even date anymore, they just TXT and hook up. GEEZ, that sounds like it could get old after a while. What happens when these men and women graduate and go into the real world? How do they meet their future partner? OH, I know, online dating, which has worked for many people, but generally, the woman and the man "fabricate" the truth about themselves and then are disappointed when they actually meet in person. Is this why our divorce rate continues to skyrocket? We marry people with whom we cannot communicate and then get 3-10 years down the road and realize we married the wrong person?

I believe that our digital society: email, TXT messages, and facebook have taken away our face to face conversation and therefore, we have lost the ability to have a conversation and have become social morons. Thinking about this makes me even more thankful that our Greek system has recruitment so that at least many of our sorority women are getting conversation skills training in college!

And, men think they have it easy, they can "communicate" with women over TXT and we continue to let it go on. Ladies seriously, do you find it more and more difficult to make conversation with men? Well, as sad as it is, we might have to help our socially challenged men (and keep in mind this can apply to our girlfriends as well).

1. Does he have trouble asking you out? Help him, clarify, do you mean that you want me to come and hang out with you? Can we maybe go have dinner beforehand and not just hook up? Keep in mind, you may have to remind him a few times, sometimes we are not dealing with the sharpest knives in the drawer! ;)

2. Does he only communicate over TXT message? If so, maybe gently remind him to call you or that you can talk about it when you see him. Or if gently doesn't work, possibly hit him over the head with HIS Blackberry (don't hurt yours). OH yeah and don't answer his TXT messages if you want him to talk to you.

3. Does he have a confrontation that needs to be made with a family member or with you and decides to send an email instead? No, those types of conversations have to be made in person. And I know they are hard, it is easier to send an email.

So maybe, we shouldn't write these men off just yet, but help them along the way. But ladies seriously, if you try to help him and he doesn't want help or show some signs of improvement in the conversation area, then he might just be a social moron and needs to be kicked to the curb.

Ladies seriously, help yourself, your friends and your men, keep face to face conversation alive. Make the guys ask you out in person or at minimum on the phone. As I sign off, I am reminded that my parent's 39th wedding anniversary is coming up this month. Do you think that they could have survived this long if they didn't communicate with one another? AND, my dad is not SO technically saavy (well neither is mom), so if he would have had to TXT my mom to ask her out, it wouldn't have happened! Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad, thanks for being great parents and showing everyone how to have a successful marriage after all of these years!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Men only need 7 pairs of shoes...yep you read it right!

Ok, this one technically is for the guys, so ladies seriously, help your men out here. Yes, gentlemen, it is true, you only need 7 pairs of shoes with an optional 8th pair. And I know some of you are saying, SEVEN! That is a lot. And then there are others of you counting your shoes, I can see you with your fingers right now. Let's see I have those and that one. So take it from me...the recovering shoe-aholic (last count wasn't bad at 60 pairs). Hey, that's not bad, I just saw in In Style Magazine that Christina Aguilera has over 300 pairs. Wonder how many of those she actually paid for? So GUYS, drumroll please, here it is:

1. Black Dress Shoes. Dressy enough for a suit. Preferrably tie up style.
2. Black or Brown Sandals. To be worn with shorts. If you have gross toenails, please make them closed toe.
3. Black COOL Loafers. To be worn with jeans or khakis.
4. Brown COOL Loafers or Tie Up Shoes. To be worn with jeans or khakis.
5. Casual Sneakers. I am thinking Pumas, Skechers, something to wear with jeans.
6. Gym Shoes. ONLY to be worn at the gym, PUHLEASE!!
7. Boots. Uggs or Cool Timberlands. ONLY applicable for those in living states where it snows.
8. OPTIONAL. Flip Flops. ONLY if you have decent toes, if not, gentlemen seriously, don't wear or even own flip flops, which is why this is an optional category.

See, that wasn't so hard. Women need a minimum of 7 pairs of just BLACK SHOES, that doesn't count all the other colors and styles.

And I know, this is a bit shallow and one of the many reasons why I am still single, but BAD SHOES on a guy are a deal breaker for me. Show up to a date with jeans and gym shoes...she cringes, NOPE, it will not do. Well honestly, bad accessories in general are a deal breaker for me. Quick funny story, one friend of mine had a date and when the bill came, she heard a weird noise. HMMM, what is that? OMG, he just opened his VELCRO wallet! Don't get me wrong a velcro wallet is fine...for my 5 year old nephew, I think he has a Spider-Man one.

Anyway, ladies seriously, just having a little fun for the guys. Some of my posts get too serious, life is too short to be serious all the time, especially in these crazy times.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Exercise does not help you lose weight!

COMO SAY WHAT? Yes, ladies, according to a Time magazine article, exercise does not help you lose weight. The premise of the article is that basically only limiting your calorie intake will help you lose weight and when you start to exercise, you burn more calories and therefore, are hungrier and HENCE may take in more calories. Which KINDA makes sense...but let me throw some facts out there:

Obesity rates in adults in the US has risen from 13% in the 1960s to 32% in 2004 and are projected to be as high as 41% in 2015.
The number of people in the US with type II diabetes has DOUBLED between 1990 and 2005.

WHOA!! Do you think we have a problem in the US? Fast food, pasta, bread, potatoes, rice, cookies, candy, ETC ETC are all part of the regular American diet these days. Of course, I know that many of you know this, but here is my problem with ANY type of article like this...the average JOE SCHMO is going to read it and go, YEP, GOOD, now I don't have to get off the couch as he/she eats another potato chip.

Let me boil it down to the regular Americans TV vocabulary, if exercise didn't help you lose weight, do you think they would feature it on The Biggest Loser?

Exercise is hard and yes, guess what you sweat and probably hurt, but to tell people that it doesn't help lose weight is just alarming. I am sure that you can ask any athlete or dancer if their physical activity helps them lose weight/keep weight off and they will all give you a resounding YES! I personally have been teaching Jazzercise for almost 12 years now and recently when I increased the number of classes I was teaching (and didn't really change my diet) I....WAIT FOR IT.....I lost weight.

MEDIA PEOPLE, seriously, stop writing articles like this, it sends the wrong message. And as I wrote in a a VERY early blog, there is only one way to lose weight/keep weight off! EAT LESS, EXERCISE MORE. Not just eat less, not just the Atkins diet, not just Pilates. Americans are always looking for an excuse not to exercise, articles like this one are simply one more reason.

This has been a public service announcement from JZZRGRL. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

There is no excuse not to be cute!

Hello LADIES!! I know, I know, it has been a while, geez, over 2 weeks since my last post. You know, the mood had not struck me for a while. But last weekend was my last hoorah before the Fall sets in and I have to start traveling to Gamma Phi Beta chapters. During my VERY social weekend, I did have an opportunity to go to the U2 concert at Soldier Field in Chicago. Great concert, but for my $100 ticket, I could have used a little less Bono waxing poetic about his political views and little more singing songs like New Year's Day, Pride and Bad, but all in all good concert. BTW, someone told me that they had to re-sod Soldier Field because the stage ripped up the field. HA, that one made me laugh, GOOD ONE BONO.

Anyway, I found myself making this statement to the red head as we were leaving the concert. UMMM, there is just NO excuse not to be cute and it doesn't take a lot of money to be cute. Here is what I mean, ladies, if your outfits/clothing are any of the following: dorky, faded, out of date or don't fit right, please don't wear them. And I don't mean that you have to be a fashion plate or spend thousands of dollars, but there is just no excuse not to have some cute clothes, no matter what your body type or age. I have seen countless attractive women in dorky clothes, like mom jeans or shorts with socks and gym shoes. FIRST, my mom doesn't even wear mom jeans, and they don't need to come 1/2 up your chest. SECOND, leave the shorts with socks and gym shoes for the gym. If you are going to a sporting event or something of that nature, wear shorts with cute (but comfortable) sandals.

Our friends at In Style and Glamour can help with you some ideas of clothing that is in style. Notice, I did not say Vogue, Women's Wear Daily or Elle, I find that those magazines have such haute couture that it doesn't appeal to everyday gal. OR do some google searches, OMG, there is so much information out there. So, first step, pick out some styles you like in the magazine or online. Second step, go to Target, Kohls, TJ Maxx, Marshalls (if you have patience), Off Fifth Saks, Last Call Neiman Marcus, Nordstrom Rack, etc and pick out some clothing. You don't have to spend a fortune, make sure you set a budget. Third step, take a friend with you for opinions (or the sales person can help), make sure the style works on you. No buttons or zippers should be pulling or gapping. Make sure you have the appropriate bra and underwear for the outfit and if you don't, you might need to buy them. Make sure it does not extenuate a "problem area". OK, done shopping? LAST step, put on your new sassy clothes and go out, be cute and sassy.

Ladies seriously, this is not rocket science, find a few cute pieces and go with it. And if you have stuff hiding in your closet (like I do), pull it out, maybe an older fashion just needs a new belt or shoes to be a new fashion. I just HATE to see some of you out there looking dorky, take it from it, it doesn't take much to cute and fabulous. FIND your inner fashion maven!

CHEERS and CIAO BELLAS.

Be Our Guest...Be Our Guest.....

Hello, ladies! It has been a while since the mood has struck me for a post but then LO and BEHOLD...I had brunch with a friend on Sunday and she pointed out an issue that needs to be addressed. What happened to manners and common courtesy in the good ol' US of A? Have we stopped teaching this and expecting this of our children and our adults? I mean, ladies seriously, if you are guest at someone's home, either spending the night or just for dinner, do you treat them like it is a hotel or restaurant, UM NO, you are a guest and should treat your hosts like you have some class. Here are some basic rules from JZZRGRL:

1. If you are spending the night at someone's home, please offer to make the bed or strip the sheets in the morning. Also, do not leave your wet towels on the floor after showering, offer to take them to the laundry room.

2. If you are going to someone's house for dinner, offer to bring something, a dessert, an appetizer, drinks...and if the host refuses, STILL bring a bottle of wine or coffee OR SOMETHING. Do not show up empty handed.

3. If you are eating at someone's house and they serve something that you don't like (for example, I don't like tomatoes or onions), take a few no thank you bites or eat around the part that you don't like. Don't sit there and refuse to eat. I mean, unless you have an allergy, is it going to kill you? AND if you do have an allergy, let your host know ahead of time.

4. If you have stayed at someone's house, when you return home, it is nice to send a written thank you card or send a small gift. I have had guests leave me candles or chocolates, which is such a nice gesture.

5. If you are eating a meal at someone's home, offer to clear your plate from the table after dinner or offer to serve dessert, you shouldn't expect your host to wait on you like you were at a restaurant...unless you are going to tip them ;).

6. If you are staying at a friend's house for multiple nights, all of the above applies, but you also might want to offer to take them to dinner or lunch. Or buy them a gift certificate for a restaurant.

And here are a few more common courtesy, classy things we can do:

1. If a close friend or relative has a birthday, GO to the store, buy them a nice card and send it, don't send an email, TXT or FB message. You can do that as well, but put some thought in the card, it means a lot more.

2. If someone buys you a gift, SEND A THANK YOU CARD!!! Wow, my mother would have never let me get away with not sending a card. In fact, my sister makes my 7 1/2 year old niece and 5 (on Sunday) year old nephew write thank you cards and they can't really write sentences yet.

3. If someone close to you has a baby or a death in the family, send a note, flowers, a gift...offer to go to their house and make a meal or clean...you don't have to spend money, but it is a classy gesture!

Here is one more note, if you have asked someone to housesit, petsit or babysit and stay at your house, this person is a guest in your home...don't leave the house without any food. If the sitter needs to take the animal or the child to an appointment or for a meal, leave money for them. Also, don't expect them to clean or do laundry unless this is something that you have set up with them prior to your departure. It is a nice gesture to stock the kitchen with food and possibly alcoholic OR non-alcoholic beverages that the sitter likes. When you return home, bring a gift or send a thank you note to the sitter!

WOW...it is really upsetting to me that people don't follow these common courtesy steps. Ladies (and gentlemen) seriously, have some class, a little bit goes a long WAY. The golden rule does apply here...treat people like you want to be treated, period. Take that advice to the BANK!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!!

This Kiss, This Kiss

Great song by a beautiful woman...Faith Hill. Ok, let's talk about kissing, baby! The good and the bad. Guys seriously, ask any female you know the following questions:
1. Who was your best FIRST kiss?
(JZZRGRL answer: CTB, at my front door in February 2005)
2. Who was your WORST kiss?
(JZZRGRL answer: In 2001, the fireman in the front seat of his truck and there was a lot of teeth in it)
3. Who would want to kiss forever or for hours?
(JZZRGRL answer: SIGH...don't like to talk about that one, I'll just say Dallas and say nothing more)

I'll bet, that these questions will be answered quickly, with specific names, dates, locations and possibly what she was wearing...every single time. SO, take this hint, gentlemen...ladies remember kissing almost more than they remember the other stuff that many times goes with kissing, so you might want to pay attention.

Remember the episode, Brad the Bad Kisser on Sex in the City, where Charlotte had a date with the guy that was a bad kisser. And she tried to train him on how to be a good kisser, but he just reverted back to his old ways? Then she yelled at him and said you are a BAD KISSER! And the guy responds with this "What? It's my thing." Ladies and gentlemen! If your date tells you that you need work on your kissing, please take their advice. Let the person help you...unless he/she, of course, is a bad kisser as well. Because here is the thing, if a lady likes to kiss you, gentlemen, it might just lead to other things that you are looking for...

Being the old softie and sometimes romantic (I know I don't tell anyone!), kissing is VERY important to most females and is much more intimate than sex (trust me, I had an EX that didn't like to kiss me, but he sure wanted to do other things). So ladies seriously (and gentlemen), you might want to brush up on your skills..practice, practice, practice...on melons if needed or I don't know make out with your pillow like you did at your junior high slumber parties. :) Because a great kiss leaves a much bigger impression that great sex!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

If you are going to lie, at least be good at it.

A quote today from one of my girlfriends. Of course, it is in reference to a guy. She had a date scheduled with a guy who did not call or TXT and stood her up. He contacted her later in the day and said he was really sorry, his phone was broken and he wouldn't have a new one for another week, but he still really wanted to get together. Then miraculously today his mobile phone appeared available on mobile IM....HUM, I wonder how that phone got fixed SO QUICKLY?? HEY MORON, if you are to pretend that your phone is broken, don't log into IM.

If you remember my blog post about my Mr. Big. He was the KING of LIES about why we couldn't get together, can't tell you how many times he made plans with me and then backed out at the last minute with every single possible, thinkable lie...his phone was broken at least once or twice, his mom needed something, his sister was having a crisis, his kid was sick..blah, blah, blah. I mean, I can't imagine how many acts of god happened for us not to be able to get together. I have to give him credit for coming up with a different lie every time, but please!

So here's the thing gentlemen seriously, how hard is it to tell the truth (well, I know men, and actually it is kind of hard for them, but really?) My phone is broken...if you don't want to go out with us, don't make the plans, period. Really, we can handle it, I mean, we weren't ordering wedding invitations or anything based on a date. And honestly having been in the dating world for way too long (and many of us have), we get it, if you don't want to go out with us, that is cool, don't take it as a character flaw. Just isn't right!

And ladies seriously, same thing to you. If you aren't interested in a guy, don't lie to him or keep going out with him for that matter. A few years ago, when I was on eHarmony, I went out with a guy like 3-4 times and I knew that I wasn't feeling it, but I really wanted to. I mean, on paper, he was really good for me, but the chemistry was NIL. He finally got the hint when I told him I don't golf and stopped calling (he wanted to golf in FEBRUARY....HUH? well the driving range, whatev). Hey, the dating world sucks and it is hard and frustrating, so why make it worse by lying to each other? Don't say, you are going to call, if you have no intention of calling. Don't make a date, if you have no intention of keeping it. Remember, the Friends episode where Chandler kept asking Rachel's boss out even though he didn't like her....Great show.

Anyway, I SUCK at lying so I try to never do it, cuz I always get caught, just ask my mom. Good advice for both men and women, a little honesty and truth is very refreshing!

Beautiful ladies, have a good week. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Life is short, but marriage is long...

So drink up and it will go a heck of a lot faster...one of my favorite quotes from Shirley MacLaine in the movie Rumor Has It. So I think it is time to talk about marrige, ladies. The good, the bad and the ugly! So in the good category...my parents, have been married for almost 39 years. My sister and brother in law have been married 11+ years. My best friend from high school has been married for 10+ years. NONE of these couples will tell you it is easy, it takes a lot of hard work, yelling, crying, smiling and talking, but they made it.

And, I also know of examples where women and men have found a great match in a second marriage...I am pretty much surrounded my good marriages. So if you think I am completely jaded about marriage, you are wrong. But then in the bad category, well, not so bad, there is me! Married for 3 years and have been divorced for almost 9 years. Now, it was not a bad marriage, just not the right guy. I drank the Koolaid, I bought into the hype and got married because I thought I was supposed to get married, that's what you DO, right? Wrong!!!! Allow me to be a romantic for just a moment, yes, I do have moments...so savor it, this doesn't happen often. Ladies seriously, you should be marrying someone because you cannot imagine spending the rest of your life without this person, despite his flaws and yours. You should be prepared to know that after the honeymoon is over, you are going to go through good times and bad, and you should KNOW deep down that this man is for you.

Let me give you one quick example of why I should have known that my ex-husband wasn't for me...in 1996 we got engaged, very romantic, proposed at the Palmer House Hilton overlooking the Christmas Tree, on one knee, the whole thing! Two weeks later, my dear grandfather passed away (about 2-3 days before Christmas). So we had to change flights plans for the holidays as the funeral was to be the day after Christmas. My WONDERFUL fiance DID NOT go to the funeral or come to Christmas with me. WHY you ask? Well, he had a wedding in which he was an usher (not even a groomsman) on December 30th and he was afraid that he couldn't get his flight plans changed, so he went to the wedding instead...without me. Now, how I thought this was acceptable behavior back then, I will never know...but you get my point. If a guy can't even go to your grandfather's funeral, probably not going to be a good guy when the going gets tough!

OK, for the ugly...the real reason I wanted to talk about this subject is for those women who have been waiting for 2+ years for their boyfriend to marry them. OH ladies! I can tell you countless stories of women who live with their boyfriends or actually have a ring, have been engaged for multiple years with no date set or have had their BF tell them that they don't want to get married and the woman just sits and waits. Ladies seriously, if he has been with you (living with you) for multiple years and still isn't marrying you...he isn't going to. And honestly, I hate to see you wait around with the wrong guy while the right guy who DOES want to marry you is out there! And yes, I know there are guys that do end up getting married after 7-10 years, but how many times do those relationships end up in divorce?

If your goal is to get married and have a family, ladies, you should really be looking for someone who has that same goal. Don't try to change someone who is not looking for that. AND if you meet Mr. Wonderful and he doesn't want children and you really do, Mr. Wonderful might be a better match for someone else.

Ladies seriously, no matter what your goal is in your relationship, married, not married, kids, no kids, city, suburbs, make sure your goals match with the guy that you think you want a long term relationship with. You are all WAY TOO fabulous to sit and wait for the wrong guy. And I know that if you are living with someone, it is hard to make that decision, trust me, I was there and made the wrong one!

Ok, off my soapbox for today! Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Change what you want or change what you do!

My district manager would be so proud that I am quoting her in my blog. Time for me to get on my little philosophical soap box for a moment and talk about careers, jobs and life! With the craziness of the economy, it is a good time for all of us to reflect on life. Some of you might be out of a job and looking for something new. Some of you might might have shorties that are going to school now and you are looking for something new to do during the day. Whatever your stage in life, it is always good to do a check to make sure you are doing what you want to do. Another great quote from an AMAZING movie...Revolutionary Road, it takes a lot of backbone to live the life you want.

And I know, I am single and it is easy for me to say that since I don't have to support a family. But let me tell you a story...long, long ago when I was married, I started teaching Jazzercise in 1998. And it was a side job for me, a way to stay fit and earn extra money because I was teaching for another owner. I had my biggest F*%# YOU fight with my now ex-husband over future careers. You see, at that time, I was in school getting my MBA in Marketing and I told him that I wanted to open my own Jazzercise Fitness Center someday. It really didn't matter to me if it was before or after we had a family. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to be the VP of Marketing for a company, I mean, why would someone want to get their MBA if they didn't want to be a VP??? OH and he also told me I was the most selfish person in the whole world, but that is beside the point. Well, of course, we know the answer to that question, (he didn't and it is ONE of the many reasons why we aren't married anymore) my MBA taught me how to run a business. This was in 1999.

When I got a divorce, I decided I wasn't going let anyone influence my future again, so I finished my MBA and became an owner of a small Jazzercise franchise in the city of Chicago. But my goal was always to be able to support myself off the Jazzercise business and not have a corporate job. So I continued to work, save some money, and look for a way to do it. In 2006, the opportunity finally came, I had a chance to purchase the largest franchise in Illinois, which I did. And I subsequently grew the business and opened not one, but two Jazzercise Fitness Centers and quit my corporate job in 2007.

Now, I am not going to sit here and tell you that it is so easy and that everything is coming up roses, because that is not true. The economy crashed about the time that I opened the second center and it is HARD financially (especially when you live in downtown Chicago, condo payments don't pay themselves and the cat is certainly not contributing to the family income). BUT I would rather be doing what I love..teaching Jazzercise for a living and providing an amazing program for women to meet their health goals, than making a lot of money, working a job that I don't like. I truly believe that I am doing what I am supposed to do! Plus I get to work with the most fabulous women, my associates, class managers and babysitters.

So here it is, ladies seriously, please make sure that your job is something that you LOVE doing. You spend more time doing that than anything else in your life, including spending time with family and friends. If you don't love what you do, CHANGE IT (change what you want, change what you do). And that change might not be easy, and it might take time and probably money, but isn't it so much better when you realize one of your life's dreams doing what you love? Make sure you have a family that supports it, but trust me, they will be happier if you are happier.

So here's to life and all the joy it brings (a Jazzercise song, BTW). Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Does this make me look fat?

EEEK! Besides the question "do you want to meet my parents?", this is one of the scariest questions ever uttered from a woman's mouth to a man's ear. Obviously if the man has any sense, the answer would be, "OF COURSE NOT dear, you look fabulous!". However, based on my previous blog post, "you can't buy class" you know that sometimes, the outfit does IN FACT make someone look fat because they are not dressing for their body type.

So here is the better answer to the question, ladies seriously, DON'T ASK IT! Being a fitness professional and strong independent woman, I am SO saddened regularly by the utter lack of positive body image in females today. And YES, I blame the media and Hollywood for that one. Think back in the time of Mae West, Ava Gardner and Marilyn Monroe, these women were BOMBSHELLS and men had their posters up in their lockers. And guess what, these women were sizes 8-12! They were beautiful, normal sized women. And then what the heck happened? Plastic surgery, I guess...but now Hollywood considers a size 10 a PLUS sized model, and only women sizes ZERO to 2 are "considered" beautiful.

Once again, I will say this, these women are PAID to be a size two and they have an army of stylists, personal trainers and nutrionists to make them look good. Heck, I could be a size 2 if I had an army like that, but then again, I wouldn't look healthy at a size 2, becauase it doesn't fit my body type. Trust me, I was that size at my wedding and I look back at pictures of myself and really, I look unhealthy. Me personally? I think women like Queen Latifah, Beyonce, Jennifer Lopez and Angela Bassett are more beautiful...I mean, really, a size ZERO...that isn't even a size!

So here it is ladies, if you are a size that you don't like or want to lose/gain weight, please, please don't boo-whoo about it all the time. It is annyoing and upsetting to all those around you. I hate it when women say these pants make me look fat, I am too fat, blah, blah (usually if someone says that to me, I take a page from my sister's book and ask said person to say three positive things about themselves). Genetics are bitch and sometimes you can't help some of the body parts that you have and the sooner you accept some of that the better. If there are parts of your body that you want to change and they can be changed, instead of complaining about it, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...get your bootie to Jazzercise, for crying out loud.

Ladies seriously, a confident self assure woman with a little extra body fat is WAY sexier than a skinny woman who complains about how fat she is. Have some class, if you don't like your body, change it, embrace your faults and flaunt them...just make sure to wear a bra and underwear ;)

Have a fantastic weekend...if you are in Chicago, enjoy the weather, I am headed to the pool with the redhead. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!!

Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

Great quote from none other than Homer Simpson. And AH, it is so true. Being involved with Gamma Phi Beta at this time of year reminds of thousands of college women going back to campus. And what do those fond memories of college bring? Memories of great friends, great times and great parties, right? Back in those days great parties sometimes involved alcohol, but usually just involved great times. These days those great parties always involve alcohol and honestly, it is usually a large amount of alcohol. To the point that it is frightening how much alcohol college women (and all women for that matter) consume these days.

While my BF was here, she told me a story about going to a bar for a bachelorette party in the lovely state of Texas. At said bar, women were 1/2 naked, dirty dancing and kissing on each other. Smiles comment was, "is this how it is now?" Sadly, it is true. Binge drinking and girls gone wild is the norm. Besides ignorance, being out of control drunk is the epitome of classlessness.

Last weekend, while a group of us were out at a lounge, our chairs were close to the window and we witnessed a young woman in a cab, who had to have her cab driver pull over while she opened the door and threw up. It was about 10 PM at night. NOW, hats off to her for getting in a cab to go home (presumably). But the fact that she was so drunk and had to throw up is not attractive.

I have witnessed countless examples like these where women are out of control due to too much alcohol. And hey, I understand, the majority of my socializing with my friends is surrounding alcohol, hanging at a bar, wine tasting, etc, but VERY rarely do I ever find myself out of control (taking the wine tasting event in March out of the equation, I was IN THE BAG (ITB) and am not proud of it).

Ladies seriously, being ITB and out of control is NOT being a lady or being classy. Plus being this out of control can lead to risky relationships, think going home with the WRONG guy. And while being half naked (or fully naked) and kissing on your girlfriend makes guys go wild, trust me, this is not the type of attention that you want. These guys will take advantage of the situation and they are NOT going to call the next day. AND, what if, pictures of your actions end of on FB and a future employer or family member saw them. Pictures exist in cyberspace FOREVER!

So ladies, go out, have fun, meet guys, laugh, dance, drink, be merry, but keep it in control! Pace yourself, Ice Cube says life ain't a track meet, it's a marathon. It is no fun to go out and then have to come home in an hour or two because you are too drunk. And for crying out loud, don't drive if you have had too much.

Have a fun and safe weekend. Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

Up and Out, ladies...think up and out!

Ok, I touched on this subject in my first blog post, my introduction, but after have been out Thursday, Friday and Saturday this past weekend, I very feel compelled to re-visit the subject. Special thanks to my BF for visiting me this past weekend, it was awesome...but we also remembered that no one thinks the Blue Line Car is a good idea after dark. ANYWHOO...it was a HOT weekend in Chicago, and much to the single gentlemen's pleasure (and probably married ones too), that also brings out the halter tops, tank tops and strappy dresses. So here it is, ladies, seriously, wear a bra and to the same point, wear the right bra!

I cannot tell you how many women I saw wearing cute dresses with no bra. Gravity is a funny thing and guess what it flattens out your chest. Your chest sagging down in front doesn't make your dress any cuter. Plus, no matter what the guy next to you says, party hats are NOT attractive. Here is a rule of thumb, if you buy an outfit for which you cannot find the appropriate bra, don't wear it, take it back. Make the investment...trust me, it works. Now, I am not the most endowed woman in the world, about a 34-36 B. However, I have invested in some fabulous bras (Victoria has a GREAT secret...it's called a push up bra). I have people make comments regularly about my chest size and if I have had surgery (1/2 joking). H**L to the NO, I am not going under the knife when a nice push up bra does the trick.

Oprah has addressed this subject on her show, countless women out there are wearing the wrong sized bra. If you have never been measured for a bra or haven't in the last 10 years, PLEASE ladies, DO IT. Take your girlfriends and go to Nordstroms (they have a great lingerie department), make the time investment. I think you will find that the right sized bra will make you look thinner! Couple of rules of thumb..if you have the dreaded back fat, your bra is actually probably too BIG...go down a band size and wear your bra lower on your back. If your straps are falling down, your bra is riding up, go down a band size.

Also, wear the right bra, a backless dress doesn't look good with a bra strap in the middle of it. Clear straps, fashion tape, racer back style, plunge style bras and convertibles are great for those cute halter tops and tank tops. And even if your tank top has a built shelf bra, wear a bra.

On a side note, if you are one of those women who was blessed (or maybe cursed) with a big chest, please don't wear a push up bra (unless you want to rest your chin on them), a regular one will do the trick for you. I have several girlfriends that are Double D's and one recently said, I don't even understand why they make push up bras in Double D!

So as we wind down the summer and continue to wear our cute summer tops and dresses, ladies, seriously, please remember, up and out is always better than flat and saggy. I will leave you with this quote from my good friend, who is a big teddy bear, but always boils it down to the lowest common denominator...It is a thin line between classy and trashy, and a heck of a woman can walk it. Keep it classy ladies.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Whoever said ignorance is bliss...was UMMM wrong!

Albert Einstein once said, two things are infinte, the universe and human stupidity and I am not sure about the universe. Great quote! So ladies, in many of my previous posts, I have talked about things that lack class, not dressing for your body type, or only communicating via TXT message, but there is one thing that takes the GRAND PRIZE for classlessness....drum roll, please! IGNORANCE. And I talking about the stupid things people say to others that show their utter lack of class. Here are a few examples that have been said....

Referencing a birth/bio parent as a child's REAL parent. I'm sorry, but biology does not necessarily make a parent a REAL parent. I have an absolutely beautiful adopted niece and nephew and let me tell you and many dear friends that have adopted children, TRUST ME, these people are these children's REAL parents.

Telling a black man that he is the whitest black man you have ever met or telling a black person that they speak well. Speak well for what? A human being? My very good friend is Haitian, yes, ladies and gentlemen, that means he is black. And people have said this to him. Guess what...he has no aspirations to be WHITE.

Asking someone, what are you? UMMM, I am a human being. I have another friend who is Portugese and people have asked her that. REALLY, if you really need to know, can you ask what is her nationality? But honestly, what possible difference can it make?

Assuming that someone who is from Poland or Mexico doesn't speak English. And then, if the person does have an accent or has a bit of trouble understanding English, to repeat your sentence VERY LOUDLY as if this is going to help!

Saying a stay at home MOM doesn't work. UMMM, she is the lowest paid person in America with the most rewarding job, kind of like teachers.

I could go on and on...assuming does what? Makes an A** out of ME and YOU. Stereotyping cultures and religions does the same thing. Ladies AND gentlemen seriously, think before you speak! Would you like someone to say any of these things to you? HOW HORRIBLE! I have friends of all kinds of cultures and religions, black, white, Japanese, Portugese, Italian, Jewish, etc and I cherish these relationships because it helps me learn, be a better person and most of ALL, be classy!

Ladies seriously, have some class, be a lady, treat everyone with respect and speak to them the way you would like to be spoken to. Don't say STOOPID S**T! And guess what if everyone followed this bit of advice the world would be a better place.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Friends that happen to be men!

So one of my previous boyfriends told me I needed to make my blog more positive about men. Not sure that writing positive things about guys is AS fun, but here is goes, we will try it once! So I have been on the online dating sites, yes, match.com and eharmony.com and both of them didn't really work for me. I did date someone from match.com for a bit and eharmony just sucked. I never had a decent date from that one, but anyway. One of the first questions that I asked any potential date is if he has a problem with the fact that two of my best friends are guys and I have about 5-6 GOOD guy friends. In fact, in high school, one of my best friends was a guy as well. Guess I am just one of those girls that likes being friends with men. And, keep in mind, the majority of them have girlfriends or wives.

Here is the deal...if a guy has a problem with the fact that I have a lot of guy friends, in my book (or blog), then he is kicked to the curb. Usually this means that he has some insecurity issues and who wants to deal with that crap. Let me share two good guy friend stories with you. I have a good friend, who just moved to the freakin suburbs, but that is another blog subject. We will call him Jay...he and I have been friends since 1994! And every single GF that he had previously HATED me because they always assumed that something was going on with us (we NEVER dated, always friends). And even his GF that he had WHILE I was married didn't like me. ANYWHOO, Jay met this FAB woman through match.com and when I met her I knew she was the ONE because she had so much confidence and was fine with the fact that Jay had a lot of female friends. They are married now and I adore BOTH of them, in fact, I tell Jay all the time that I like his wife better than him.

STORY TWO, last December I started dating someone that I had known for a while, we will call him JG. He was in the midst of a divorce and figured out he was not quite ready for a relationship, ended being a JERK on Valentine's Day and we basically broke up. BUT, to JG's credit, he admitted his issues, apologized and we are good friends now. In fact, I completely enjoy hanging out with him because he totally gets me (ie. he knows I am neurotic and an alcoholic!)

Both of my best guy friends have GF's and both of them are pretty OK with me. In fact, one of them loans out her BF to me as my PLUS ONE date at weddings! Thank you, dear. And I have been on the other side, one of my good guy friends in high school dumped me because his STOOPID GF had a problem with it. Whatever!

So here's the scoop, ladies seriously, if you are a female that has a lot of guy friends, your significant other BETTER BE OK with it. Don't sever those ties because your guy is insecure. AND GUYS, man up, just because your girl has guy friends, that doesn't mean she is secretly in love with them or sleeping with them. I absolutely ADORE my guy friends...all of you, you know who you are! You all keep me in line when I become a hysterical female (and yes it does happen, not VERY often though).

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Once a cheater, always a cheater!

Reporting to you live from lovely Omaha, Nebraska, site of my 20 year high school reunion. So crazy to see people that you haven't seen in 20 years. Anyway, thought it was time to talk about men with girlfriends and wives (there were many there last night SANS GF or spouse). The title of today's blog always reminds me of Rachel on Friends...So hear me now, ladies, if you suspect that a guy whom is either hitting on you OR possibly whom you have gone out with a few times, is married or has a GF. HE PROBABLY DOES!

Case in point, a couple of months ago, I was at a wine tasting event and met this great looking guy, we will call him Napa (YES, he is bald, so you know I liked him) who was a wine representative for one of the wineries at the event. We struck up a conversation and it obvious that there was flirting going on between both us (yes, I was flirting). We discussed that he had been in Chicago recently and so I gave him my card and told him to give me a shout to if he is ever in Chicago again. He called me that night and we ended up having a "mini-date" at the airport. He continued to contact me throughout the next week. And there was some suggestive flirting going on over text message. But I started to have a sneaking suspicion that something weird was going on, like he probably had a GF.

SO I did the thing that any self respecting, single woman would do...I found him on FB. And his profile pic was of him and a very cute girl. NOW, I know what some of you are saying, oh, it could be a friend or a sister...REALLY, COME ON LADIES, single guys do not put pictures on FB with a friend or sister. And yes, I know it was a bit childish to confirm my suspicions on FB and I should have just asked him. But anyway, I friended him and he sends me a message saying...you might have noticed that my profile pic, I JUST started dating someone. COME ON! If you are busted, fess up. So I totally called him out on it, and said I figured out you had a GF a while ago and I think you have been dating a little longer than a few weeks. So he finally fessed up.

Ladies, seriously, I don't understand men (or women for that matter) who cheat on a GF or BF (and yes, I know Napa didn't cheat on his GF technically). I mean, you are only dating and aren't married, so if you want to date someone else, BREAK UP! It shouldn't be that difficult and if you feel like you need to cheat, then the person you are with...might not be the right person. And ladies, don't date a guy with a GF, how would you like to be the girl on the other side. And if he is willing to cheat on his GF, then he is probably a total jerk and you don't need him.

And let me just say this about married guys, ladies seriously, don't date them. I know he may be fabulous, but trust me, you wouldn't like him as much if he wasn't married, that is part of the allure of married guys. And he isn't going to leave his wife and kids for you and don't you deserve someone who wants to make you number one and not number two OR three OR four?

So my advice for the weekend, ladies, seriously, find a guy who doesn't have a GF or wife (and if you could find one with an ex-wife, that is a bonus). Trust your gut, if you suspect a guy has a GF or wife, he probably doesn't and don't convince yourself otherwise. You are beautiful, intelligent women and deserve to be number one!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

I mean really, gentlemen....you are not all that!

So I totally forgot about this story...I can't believe it since the fiesty redhead and I joke about it all the time. So here is my message to men. LISTEN UP BOYS! Not every single unattached woman out there is dying to get married and have tons of babies. And if we show an interest in you, that doesn't mean we are measuring you for a tux.

Case in point, several months ago, I met a cute guy at a party. Not too tall, good fashion, great sense of humor and yes, was bald...for those of you that know me, you know I love the bald guys! Anyway, the evening progressed and there was a lot of dancing (and drinking, but no one was driving so it was safe). After the party, we all decided it would be a good idea to go to a bar (not sure I see the logic in that decision now). At the bar, cute guy...lets call him cheese guy, was proceeding to SHOW me how interested he was in me, (READ: hands all over me). I fought him off but had a good time, there was kissing and dancing. So cheese guy lives by me, we decided to share a cab home...he is going on and on about how he is going to make pancakes for me the next morning, assuming that I am spending the night at his place. UM, how about NO! So I get out at my place, hand him my card and say call me.

So, of course, I don't hear from him for like a week, which is FINE. So I get an EMAIL from him over a week later. It basically tells me that he really enjoyed meeting me but really isn't interested in a relationship right now (imagine me saying this in the most sarcastic voice EVER). REALLY? Was I giving you my ring size and suggesting locations for our wedding reception while you practically had your hands down my pants? How are you so BOLD to think I want a relationship with you, we hadn't even gone out on a date, I met you once at a party DUDE! I mean, you are cute, but you are NO Jason Statham, whom I would want to marry.

Gentlemen, seriously! Not every woman wants a relationship with you. Some intelligent, attractive, fun women just want to hang out, have drinks, go to concerts, dance and have fun. So please, please don't make that assumption. And yes, there are some women looking for a relationship, and that is totally cool as well, because HEY there are guys that are looking for that as well and I hope they find each other. And eventually, I would like to meet someone who would take me to dinner and the movies once in a while, but marriage, eh, I tried that once, not sure I am ready to walk down that aisle again. HEY, I am enjoying my singledom.

So my advice to you guys, if you met a cute girl and want to hang out...ask her out, if she drops hints about wanting a relationship after a few times out and that is not what you want...MAN UP and tell her, but don't make silly assumptions, it is insulting!

Ladies, I am off to my 20 year class reunion this week. Have a fantastic weekend.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!

Ink is FOREVER!

Ok, I have to talk about it, tattoos, tats, body art, ink...whatever you want to call it. Tattooing has become so mainstream society that you cannot go out these days without seeing multiples on men and women alike, young and old. Now, I have no problem with ink, in fact, I have two myself, which I LOVE. The first one I got when I got my divorce (must have been feeling rebellious) and my second one I got recently to celebrate my one year anniversary of my ANTI-corporate job. And yes, my mom has seen both of them, I love it when I get the disapproving MOM SIGH...

FUNNY story...while the redhead and I were at a tattoo place recently, some guy comes in wanting a tattoo on his ribcage (OUCH!). He came in with his girlfriend (who BTW already had a tattoo). He wanted some buddhist proverb and he laid on the table...the artist started and got through one letter, the guy stopped him, it was too painful. DUDE, not a good idea! Now you have ONE letter on your chest, I am guessing it looks kind of DORKY.

One of my girlfriends, we have been friends for YEARS and we will call her Beverly, works in cosmetics (and is the best at getting me free stuff, THANK YOU!) Recently, she was asked by a colleague to help with the makeup at her future daughter in law's wedding. Apparently, the bride was a fair skinned blonde, who had a very large almost all black tatoo on her upper back. Poor Beverly had about 20 minutes to try to cover this thing, because the bride had chosen to wear her hair up and had a backless dress. This type of makeup, of course, is not a quick application, one coat has to dry for 20 minutes. Needless to say, my poor friend was stressed to the HILT and because she was not given enough time to cover this huge tattoo, she felt bad that it probably didn't look very good.

ANYWHOO!! Here is my point, ladies, seriously, ink is forever! Unless you want to go through the painful process of removing it. SO, here is the deal, if you have a tattoo that is in a place where you have to have heavy makeup to hide it for your wedding....you MIGHT want to reconsider the size and/or placement of said tattoo. Use this rule of thumb, if you are embarrassed of it or you don't want to show your grandmother, DON'T get it. Tattoos are not cheap and hey they kind of hurt. Also, ladies, have some class and pick a design that is tasteful and representative of you. I have seen many men and women with some weird tattoos, like grown men with Tweetie Bird?? And on a side note, be careful of whose name you put on your body...ie, Johnny Depp, Winona Forever! Had to make it Wino Forever when they broke up, OOPS.

Hey, ladies, it's your life and your body...just make sure you are really POSITIVE about the placement and design of your ink.

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS.

And then some girls have their Aidan!

Well, once again, quoting that wonderful show...Sex in the City. Carrie had her Aidan, the one man that loved her completely (enough to come back a second evern after she cheated on him) and she couldn't marry him (because she was still stuck on Big). I will call him the one that got away for Carrie. OK, ladies, who has "the one that got away"? All the single ladies, put your hands up!

If you asked my mom and sister, they would tell you that the one that got away for me was my college BF. He is a GREAT guy and I still think very fondly of him, but I knew he was not the right guy for me in the long run. And we broke up about 16 years ago and my mom and sister still talk about him. LADIES, get over it. There is a lesson for you...only YOU can know the right person for you, if I had listened to my mom and my sister (you KNOW I love you ladies...but) I would be married to the wrong guy, with kids, living in the town I grew up in Nebraska, not thinking I would be too happy.

But ALAS! He is not the "one that got away". My Aidan is not someone that I actually ever dated, but was a very good friend in high school. We were friends for three years and he wanted to date me, but I wasn't interested (still not sure why). Great guy and we always had a lot of fun together, and hey, let's face it, he still wanted to date me even with the HIGH SCHOOL MALL HAIR I had. So then, of course, he started dating someone our senior year and THEN I wanted to date him (typical CHICK thing to do). But he said no and continued to date Miss Thing. Crazy thing is that we all went to the same college, he was in the fraternity down the street and Miss Thing was in the RIVAL sorority across the street. Well, then ended up getting married and subsequently divorced (could have told him that was going to happen, but ANYWAY).

Well, I am coming up on my TWENTY YEAR high school reunion, which has had me reminscing about old times and my Aidan. I am looking forward to seeing him again. He is a doctor BTW. Now, don't go getting any ideas, ladies, he is remarried.

So ladies, here is my advice to you, if you have a good guy friend and there is some chemistry there, you might want to consider if you should explore a relationship. I know based on my experience, my guy friends know that I am an OCD crazed, neurotic woman and they still love me.

And let's face it, a successful relationship starts with friendship, yep the physical attraction is FUN, but I mean really, how many relationships have lasted for the long haul based on the physical part only (it usually dies out). Now, I have a VERY good guy friend, whom I adore, and we have tried to date and it simply does not work. But we realized it and still remain friends. This is not easy to do, so if you go down this road, you better be ready to either not be friends or have the type of friendship that can handle some tough times.

So there you have it...eharmony, facebook, match.com, chemistry, bars, friends, blind dates...it is exhausting! In the end your best guy friend might turn out to be your best boyfriend!

Cheers and CIAO BELLAS!